I work pretty hard to assume that everyone is doing the best they can given the circumstances in which they find themselves and the tools that they have to work with.
I also try not judge anyone else’s parenting choices because I am generally only ever seeing one-off interactions and don’t have the full context of their relationships with their kids and whatever challenges they might have.
However, I find both of those stances extremely difficult to maintain when it comes to parents who yell at, harangue, or otherwise berate their kids at Little League games and school sporting events.
I have, of course, heard stories of poorly behaved parents at kids’ sporting events but I always assumed this phenomenon was mostly exaggeration and stereotyping. Being a relative newcomer to the kids team sport scene, I was surprised to find that the league rule books and codes of conduct tend to have a much larger section devoted to how parents in attendance should conduct themselves than to how the athletes themselves should behave or how the game is played.
Having a full season of rec department basketball and now a few Little League games under my belt, though, I have come to understand that all of these stories are true and that the rules and warnings for parents are necessary.
What I don’t get is what possesses people to do this kind of stuff.
My working theory is that the person next to be consistently yelling at her kid to STAY FOCUSED or that he should keep his eye on the ball or WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ETHAN?! cannot separate herself from her kid. I think parents who do this kind of stuff must feel like their kids’ performance on the court or the field reflects on their own performance as a parent.
That is understandable, but also inexcusable.
I watch adults at these games do this kind of stuff to their kids and I can see the kids visibly deflate as it is happening. It’s awful.
You’re an adult. Grow up. You are there to support your kid, not make them feel like shit because you want to re-live your glory days or look good in front of your friends or achieve second-hand what you wished you could have done yourself.